November 02, 2009 12:09 AM UTC

Leno at 10, Foreign Policy at 11

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• by: JO

Mystery revealed: Who’s writing U.S. foreign policy? Ans.: Same team that writes Leno’s opening dialogue (yuk yuk).

A week or so ago, the Afghan presidential election was a scandal. Fixed, corrupt. Gotta be fixed with a runoff. Hamid resists–what, and waste all those phony ballots???–so Obama sends Kerry to Kabul to take Karzai for a little walk-‘n’-talk in the garden. They come inside and voila! A runoff it is. Tragedy averted. Number One pillar of Gen. Petreus’s new Army Field Manual, a credible, non-corrupt government to defend from the insurgents, established! Hip, hip, hooey!

Week later: Abdullah “say it again” Abdullah runs off from the run-off. Nah, ain’t goin’ through with with no corrupt runoff. WSJ says “Western diplomats pressed him to end his participation in the race in a dignified manner” by not raining on Karzai’s parade ( https://online.wsj.com/article/… ), which he did (no calls for a boycott, for example, no slamming the door on future deals, etc.).

And suddenly SOS HRC pipes up with: “When President Karzai accepted the second round without knowing what the consequences and outcome would be, that bestowed legitimacy from that moment forward, and Dr. Abdullah’s decision does not in any way take away from that.” (WSJ, same link.)

So, first time the election was a fraud and without a runoff, his second term would have lacked legitimacy. Second time, with the same fraudsters in charge of the run-off, the outcome of the first round is perfectly legitimate without a runoff, and indeed, let’s not waste the money going through the motions!

Is this reasoning the result of one too many rides on the loop-de-loop? An extra puff (or two) on some Magic Dragon peace pipe? And no, I’m not making this up–no prescription fillable at a nearby dispensary, although I am suffering from nausea and light-headedness.

BIG QUESTION: Would you want your son-daughter-husband-wife-dad-mother risking his or her life in defense of this Circus Maximus Afghanus?

Local angle: Has Mikey Bennet figured out yet what he thinks our Afghan policy oughta be, or is he requesting Lakeside to reopen after season’s end, just for an hour, so he can try one of those whirly upsidedown rides a couple of times in order to line up with Foggy Bottom?

With comedy writers like these, you’d think Leno would be getting better ratings w/ his new show! Or possibly not.