September 19, 2010 07:01 PM UTC

Moderation: Route to Nowhere

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• by: JO

Well, God must have been/must be a moderate. After all, wasn’t it He who gave us:

–a right hand and a left hand.

–upsides and downsides.

–rationality and Teahad.

The “moderate” has it easy; no need to analyze a situation or gather facts. Listen to one side, then the other, then pick the “middle way,” whatever that way might be or wherever it might lead. Followed by Hymn #100: “Praise Ye Moderates, O Ye Average Ones.”

Of course there are times…

“JO, my bike has two flat tires.” “Oh, well, be moderate, inflate the front one.”

“JO, I’m lost.” “Oh, well, go straight ahead, stray neither right nor left.”

“JO, the economy isn’t generating enough jobs to employ even 95% of those who need a job to put food on the table and a roof overhead.”

“Oh, well, let’s provide stimulus to create enough economic growth to stop the rise in lost jobs, but not enough to create new ones. Let’s Be Moderate, and congratulate ourselves for doing so.”

“JO, why did God coin the word ‘Failure?'”

“Because every phrase needs a synonym, including ‘Moderate Democrat.'”

“JO, what’s a Moderate Democrat?”

“A changeling: Republican inside the Senate, Democrat on the campaign trail, sometimes.”

“Campaign trail?”

“Where words and phrases are tossed out to see what arouses The People at the moment.”

“Arouses?”

“Stay out of southern Delaware, boy. That’s all I can say.”