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March 18, 2011 01:14 AM UTC

Greatest. Bio. Ever.

  • 24 Comments
  • by: Colorado Pols

Denver City Council candidate Michele Fry was in the news today for plagiarizing answers on a candidate questionnaire. This news led us to Fry’s campaign website, which offers up perhaps the greatest candidate bio we’ve ever read.

Here’s just a sample of Fry’s online bio, but you’ve really got to read the whole thing to appreciate the incredible randomness and level of detail:

Michele Fry is a Native of the City and County of Denver, and a 4th generation resident of District 5. Michele was born at St. Joseph’s Hospital Denver, Colorado on February 20, 1972; she is 39 years of age.

Michele’s father passed away when she was an infant and she was raised by a single mother. Michele’s mother has been a self-employed business woman, for 14 years, and too is a native of City Council District 5. Michele has two younger brothers, Matthew and Patrick. Matthew is married and has 3 little girls. Patrick played Junior Hockey for 3 years in Pennsylvania; he is currently a student at CU Boulder studying French, Arabic and International Relations.

Michele resides at 11th and Eudora Denver, CO. The home of her grandmother, originally purchased by her grandparents in 1944; Michele purchased the home in 2003. Michele lives with her rescued Great Danes.

Michele’s Great Uncle was former Legislator and Secretary of State for the State for Colorado, George J. Baker. Michele’s Great Aunt and Uncle (Secretary of State Geo. Baker) were longtime residents of City Council District 5; her Great Aunt lived at 1445 Monaco Parkway, the home she and her Great Uncle George purchased in the 1930s, until her death in 1994.

Michele ate eggs for breakfast. Eggs come from chickens. There are not a lot of chickens in District 5. In 1987 Michele saw a chicken at the home of Ed Smith on 135 Elm Street. One time Ed Smith met former Governor Roy Romer and told Michele about it. Roy Romer once considered running for President. Barack Obama is now the President. On August 14, 2008, at 3:07 pm, Michele went to a rally in District 5 for Barack Obama…        

Comments

24 thoughts on “Greatest. Bio. Ever.

    1. I usually love Pols, but there’s some meanspiritedness here lately.  Maybe she has it coming for “lifting”, but I don’t expect it from the usually compassionate Nancy or Cowgirl or MOTR.

      Don’t care if she wins or loses, but this is the second post I’ve commented on where people seem to be taking real glee at taking someone down.  That’s OK when you do something douchey like Ken Buck did…a thousand times with the gay/alcoholism comments, but this chick’s bio?  Boring, but harmless.  Maybe it means something to her neighbors where her grandparents lived.  Mine just died so maybe I’m overly sentimental.  I’ve never served as a grand juror.  Maybe her life experience is more meaningful because of it.

      Guess I’m in one of those “judge not, lest ye be judged” moods in the bio writing department.

      1. Takedown politics is BS, and it excludes a lot of good potential public servants who can’t handle the harassment.

        On the other hand, I don’t think I’d have felt motivated to mock her writing skills if it weren’t for the plagiarism-then-denying-it thing. I mean, of all things to know NOT to do in an election, plagiarism should be top of the list in Colorado these days. Plus, it’s the Denver City Council; she’s applying for a job that makes real money, not the county water board or something that’s basically a glorified volunteer position. She should really get a professional writer’s help if it’s not a strength for her.

        So I guess I’m of two minds. I don’t feel like it’s okay to make fun of people who do silly things that have nothing to do with their campaigns, like getting caught having at one time had a social life that involved attending parties in funny costumes. (Gasp! A politician who had FUN?! Unacceptable!) But I have to say, I do like my politicians at least marginally honest, and I think it’s okay to be a little snarky to someone who just got caught outright lying about something fairly serious, like plagiarism.  

        1. I hope she hires an editor. Why didn’t the person who builds her website edit it, or at least give her a heads up?

          I give her a lot of credit for rescuing dogs and caring for her elderly grandmother. We need more people in politics with a heart. I’m serious.

  1. That reminds me to tell you all that I got called to Fort Collins for a grand jury summons yesterday. They seated our jury for 2011; I lucked out. They didn’t pick my number.

    Just thought I’d share that meaningless story with everyone here.  

  2. This does kind of explain the plagiarism and why she thought no one would ever know.  It appears we’re, I’m putting this as kindly as I can, BlueSkies, not dealing with a MENSA member here. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. OK?  

  3. First, whether we like it or not, campaigning is part of the job.  And if this how she…does whatever this is, it’s relevant.

    Second – I agree that we need more good people to step up.  I also agree that she should get an editor. Or a campaign manager or something.

    Third- good writing is hard and I’m not sure it matters for the actual job.  But it does matter for the campaign.

    Finally –

    Michele Fry is proud to be a 4th generation Denver native from her current neighborhood where she lives with her rescued Great Danes.

    Michele’s father passed away when she was an infant and she was raised in the same community by her single mother,  a self-employed business woman for the past fourteen years.

    Michele has two brothers, Matthew and Patrick. Matthew is married and has 3 daugters. Patrick is a student at UC.

    When Michele was 19, lifelong family friend, Lea Robinson, well known longtime activist and member of the Denver Democratic Party, tried to recruit  Michele into getting active in Denver politics. Michele chose to wait, but has been planning this for more than twenty years.

    Michele is a (year) University of Denver graduate with a double major in Public Policy and History.  After graduation  Michele was a teacher’s assistant in a classroom of __ graders at Denver Academy.   Michele will complete her Master’s degree in business administration at Regis University in March 2011.

    Michele has over 10 years experience in sports marketing in Denver and is proud of her Stanley Cup Ring  received while working for the Colorado Avalanche in (year).

    MIchelle has worked on many political campaigns as paid staff and volunteer: Governor Lamm, Speaker Romanoff,  Amendment 59 Saving Account for Education and others.

    Insert issues here:

    .,,,

    And answer the questions:

    Why you want to hold this position, why we should want to elect you.

    1. Based on my quick count, on her bio page, her name was mentioned 31 times! That’s as distracting as when a speaker says “um” a thousand times during a speech.

      If her bio is so poorly written that a casual observer gets so bored they start counting how many times her name is mentioned, that’s bad.

      1. PS- anyone can use my re-write for free and as long as their is no attribution.

        I don’t knwo the candidate and wouldn’t want anyone to thinkin I’m endorsing.

  4. the Faux-Hawk hairdo like that guy who ran against Andy Kerr.

    When you run, you put yourself out there.  When you don’t take it seriously enough to have some proof your work and make suggestions, your asking for the abuse.

  5. That was a hillarious addition to the BIO.  OMG I needed that today!  Thank you.  OBR…LIKEY!  

    After this, you don’t have the right to mock me when I mention her STEMS! LOL

    LOVE IT!

  6. I believe she states on her web site that she has criminal justice experience because she once served on a grand jury.  That’s like saying that she has medical experience because she once visited a hospital.

  7. but she has a huge heart and a commitment to serve. That is more than some legislators in our state. Michelle — if you ever need help in the future, call me. I can edit for you.

      1. sometimes I look back at old threads because of something someone posts on facebook, or because I run into someone, or am reminded of something previously discussed. With this particular thread, I got to know Michelle a little better this year, and know her heart is absolutely in the right place. I sincerely hope she runs again, and would happily help her edit her website if she asked me for assistance.  

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