Aw, Crap…We’ve Still Got 5 More Months

JUDGMENT DAY UPDATE #2: We’re sorry, folks. But there’s always the Mayan calendar.

JUDGMENT DAY UPDATE: A reader-created design that we really wanted to share with you before it’s too late. Get your rapture on with props to the home turf!



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UPDATE: Worried about what you’re going to wear after the beginning of the end tomorrow? Never fear…Colorado Pols has you covered!

CLICK HERE to order your very own “World Ending” t-shirt.

Order yours today. All proceeds will go to benefit…Colorado Pols. We’d give it all to a charity, but what’s the point if the world is ending in October?

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The ramblings revelations from 89-year-old Harold Camping, the founder of something called “Family Radio,” that the end of the world is nigh have been widely discussed this week (including here). We thought we should clarify, however, that while the end may begin tomorrow, the end doesn’t really end until October 21.

As Oakland North clarifies:

What the billboards don’t say is that Camping believes the dead will be turned from their graves, while, as Family Radio’s website puts it, “the remains of the all the believers who have ever lived will be instantly transformed into glorified spiritual bodies to be forever with God.” Then, all the non-believers will suffer and die off for five more months, until the world really ends on October 21, 2011. For that kind of information, the signs, which also adorn buses and cover a fleet of RVs traveling around the country, direct viewers to Family Radio’s website.

We’re certainly curious to see if Camping himself ascends in spirit form tomorrow, but even if he doesn’t, the fact that he’s 89-years-old gives him a decent chance to see his world end before October 21 anyway.

33 Community Comments, Facebook Comments

  1. WitnessProtectionForGeeks says:

    I just gave all my shit away and told my boss to fuck off.

    Can I move in with you for 5 months?

  2. ClubTwitty says:

    The proof is irrefutable–here is the math.  Repent.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/

  3. Dan WillisDan Willis says:

    If the Rapture happens tomorrow, who gets the Pope’s jewelry?

  4. Diogenesdemar says:

    it look like I’ll have to mow the lawn this weekend after all.

    • droll says:

      There’ll be those dinosaur things liberals are always talking about roaming about. So even if your grass doesn’t burn off, a very large animal will eat it. Or possibly eat you before either your spouse, or you HOA can complain at you. #SilverLinings

  5. cologeek says:

    Camping doesn’t say anything about zombies.  Everyone knows that at the end of the world there will be zombies.  Fail.

  6. raymond1 says:

    The 5/21 rapture is 6 pm everywhere, Brother Camping has declared — meaning we’ll know in 2 hours, as the clock strikes midnight turning 5/20 into 5/21 in the Mountain time zone:    

    The Rapture is at 6 p.m. on May 21, 2011, … on a time zone by time zone basis[,] … to start when it hits 6 p.m. at the International Dateline at 180 Longitude — roughly the between Pago Pago, American Samoa, and Nuku’alofa, Tonga. … [T]here will be an earthquake of previously unprecedented magnitude, Camping predicts.

    So … the Rapture will actually begin like a rolling brown out across the globe at 11 p.m. PST on Friday, May 20th.

    This is the one part that doesn’t make sense: as of midnight our time, we’ll have 18 hours left before Rapture time — so if the word from Pago Pago is that they’re getting raptured, won’t every heathen here know to repent? BJ and I don’t want our heaven all cluttered with the likes of Voyageur and miscellaneous heathens tomorrow!

    • RedGreenRedGreen says:

      where it’s 5:30 p.m. when it’s 6 p.m. in the rest of the state? Does Arizona get raptured on daylight savings time or does God respect that state’s preferences?  

    • Diogenesdemar says:

      I think is really going to put a damper on things for lots of American believers.  They’ll be have second thoughts about the second coming after God fills up their eternal abode with lots of Fijians, Samoans, Indians and Africans.

      But, maybe on second second thought this is all part of God’s plan magnificent plan . . . get all those dark-skinned eternal servants up into the pearly mansions early so that they can have the place all cleaned and dusted, and the banquet all set and prepared, before our holiest santified rollers show up and claim the whole place for themselves.  Heaven will be just like the Confederate South — except this time the slaves are going to really enjoy being in their place.  (evuhbody now sings purty — “Ohhhh, Oh, Swing looow sweet chariooot, coming for to carry me hooooooome . . .”)

      I don’t know . . . It’s hard to fathom the mind of God.  Like, why does he even care about man’s International date line, the Greenwich Meridian, etc., etc.,  So may questions and so little eternity . . .

  7. ardy39 says:

    until Mom goes off the deep end …

    Can Camping be charged with anything?

  8. BlueCat says:

    Still here but I don’t think Jews get raptured.  How about you?  Any other colpol folks still here? Hello-o-o-o-o…  

  9. Diogenesdemar says:

    God might have forgotten to set his watch to DST last March? It was a lot earlier this year.

    • BlueCat says:

      You suppose he forgot to carry a one or something?

      • Diogenesdemar says:

        to wind it.  Some days he gets so very busy — what with constantly having to bless America everytime a politician gives a speech, helping all those football athletes with their pass receiving, etc., etc. . . . It’s a wonder that he doesn’t find it all a little overwhelming.  You couldn’t pay me enough to do his job.

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