Republican congressional candidate Joe “Not a Beer” Coors has a new ad on television that shows him driving in a car and only kinda watching the road. But nevermind all that, because we’ll never be able to picture Coors in any other way after re-reading this article from The Los Angeles Times.
On Sept. 18, 1988, the Times ran a long profile story on the Coors family titled “Brewing Controversy: Coors Clan: Doing it Their Way.” Featured in the story, of course, is the then 45-year-old Joe Coors, Jr., who comes off as…well…see for yourself:
All five of Joe Coors’ sons, inspired by their mother, Holly, 67, are self-described, “born-again” Christian fundamentalists. Hard core.The oldest son, Joe Jr., 45, for instance, even lists “Biblical Prophecy” as a hobby, along with golf, on his company resume, and the whole family is awaiting Armageddon, which Joe Jr. believes will occur around the year 2,000.
We know what you’re thinking: Did I just read that correctly?
You did, but here it is again:
The oldest son, Joe Jr., 45, for instance, even lists “Biblical Prophecy” as a hobby, along with golf, on his company resume, and the whole family is awaiting Armageddon, which Joe Jr. believes will occur around the year 2,000.
We were skeptical about recent news from the Coors campaign touting a 9-point lead over incumbent Democratic Rep. Ed Perlmutter, but perhaps it wasn’t polling — maybe ol’ “Not a Beer” was prophesying and God told him that he had a big lead in the polls.
Perhaps Coors’ prophesying on the 2012 election will be more accurate than his prediction that the world would end in the year 2000. He better hurry up and get elected just in case the Mayans are correct and the world ends in December. Joe Coors may be “Not a Beer,” but there’s also a decent chance that he’s “Not All There.”
Full story: In My Spare Time, I’m Into Golf and Prophesying and Stuff
the electoral keys to the White House in 2000, but I personally think Joe probably just made a lucky guess . . .
…the real keys not until 2001. I guess that’s still within Joe’s approximations.
…the real keys not until 2001. I guess that’s still within Joe’s approximations.
it would be unfair to use it against him on Saturday. The standards for whackjobbery are just different for the Romney-Ryan party.
….are essentially extra-Biblical movements that have come about over the last 100 years or so. It’s reading Revelations – which reads like John, the putative author was on damned fine acid – and then the modern reader on acid.
As the Christian literary canon was being agreed upon, an almost 500 year process, Revelations almost did not make the cut. It was, to quote one of the early church fathers involved in the selection process, “Too fucking weird.”
Not only that, but the whole book is made null and void in the first several lines: Rev. 1:1,
And Rev. 1:3
As almost exactly 2000 years have passed since this was written, and nothing has happened, despite being told the shit’s gonna hit the Armageddon fan imminantly, nada. Why would any of the rest of it be true?
And check out ole Joe’s accuracy. “Around the year 2000.” Well, that millennial Jesus will return New Year’s Eve stuff worked out great, didn’t it? Never mind that Jesus used the Hebrew calendar, the Roman empire used the Julian, and only now as we count off our fingers, the Gregorian. Hell, might as well throw in the Mayan.
I would ask any Christian who is “into” prophesy, “Why?” Why does it matter when and how? If you’re good with your gods, so what?
Hell, it’s “soon” for most mortal geologists. And the people predicting an asteroid collision will destroy the Earth.
“When we’ve been there 10,000 year we’ve no less days to sing God’s praise then when we first begun.”
Amazing Grace
Theologically, your statment is just not correct.
As long as we’re nit-picking.
Are we talking about immortal egos that exist in a different dimension watching the end of this planet as we know it and singing Hallelujah about it?
Where are you going with your comments?
….is that why would All-Powaful Being reveal secret info in His/Her Being Speak when it’s mere mortals who need the instructions? In Greek, Hebrew, Pig Latin, whatever.
All the early believers were absolutely positive that Jesus was going to return in their lifetimes.
Guess not.
And he’s AWARE of how Ed took Frazier apart into shiny little pieces.
Dudes, we KNEW this guy was crazy, there are no surprises.
Joe Coors may be crazy- crazy enough to save us all from internal flames and Obamacare!
Coors 2012
Frankly, I’m not sure than an all powerful creator would share humankind’s fascination with round numbers, especially as they relate to a “year” that consists of the circuit of one planet around one star out of the billions of planets and stars created by the aforementioned Supreme Being. After all, a billion years could be but a second in the mind of G-d or vice versa.
But to play the Coors game: Why would the counting start with Jesus’s birth? There is nothing remarkable about his being born. Everyone manages that. The exceptional event to Christians is not the birth of Jesus but the resurrection of Jesus. If he were to come back in one or two millenia, then the most likely times would be about 1,038 or 2,038.
The best guess is that Jesus of Nazareth was born in 5 “B.C.” There are no secular records of such a birth, but the scriptures place it in the time of Herod the Great, who died in 4 B.C.E. (Before Common Era, the term scholars use in lieu of “Before Christ.”)
The Bible is silent as to the date or year, though it is a safe bet it was NOT on December 25, which at that time was the Roman Saturnalia, which marked the solstice — an event, due to Calendar Drift, which now falls on Dec. 21.)
Likewise, Jesus was about 30 when he began his ministry and was killed, most brutally, as was the Roman way with Jewish troublemakers, when he was 32 or, more likely, 33.
That means his resurrection, if it occurred, was likely in year 38 of the Common Era.
The Bible records just three resurrections: those of Elijah, Jesus and Lazarus. Lazarus can perhaps be discounted as simply the work of Jesus, but Jesus’s own resurrection would have been such an astounding event — one of only two such recorded in the Bible — that it would be a much more significant date from which to begin calculating his return.
So, if we’re starting a pool as to when Jesus returns, I’ll pick 2038. Since I’ll be 93 that year, I’m not certain to make it. But if it happens, I hope the surviving polsters will gather and toast the Lord’s return with a Pabst Blue Ribbon, in my memory.
Think about it . . .
I mistakenly added 5 years instead of substracting to make up for Jesus being born in 5 BCE.
what is correct calculated year?
due respect to Mr. Coor’s, I gotta tell you, I don’t get it. This sure seems like one dumb f’n hobby. Badmitten, quilting, collecting beer cans, a giant ball of rubber bands, digging holes in the back yard — hell, even watching professional football on television — all seem like much more worthwhile ways to pass time.
His birth was incorrectly calculated by a monk, Dionysus Exigus, to determine the year 1 A.D. or CE in modern usage. Most scholars place it about 5 BCE, principally because the gospels clearly place it in the reign of Herod. We known from secular records that Herod the Builder, whose mark is still all over Jerusalem in the form of the distinctive Herodian stones beveled on their sides that he used in his construction, died in what is now called 4 B.C. or 4 BCE.
Are the Gospel accounts themselves accurate? No one can be sure, but they are the only records available about the birth of Jesus of Nazareth.
In my not so humble opinion, subject to new historical information.
I would put my prophesying on the Jewish Calendar. He was a Jew, after all. Much more complicated than I realized:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J…
I have wine that won’t be ready to drink before then.
PBR with you.
Hardly do beer, but local stores pretty well dropped PBR a few years ago, but it’s back.
Not that I much crave typical American lagers, but one has to, it’s PBR.
In addition to its fine taste, PBR is Union Made. I switched to it from my old favorite, Coors, when Coors started pushing the Right to Work initiative. Enough is enough!
Maybe someday I’ll get back to CO for a visit and we’ll hoist a few union made brews.
To save A-Bot the trouble I want to point out how grossly over the top this is and inaccurate to boot.
Everyone knows that one does not put a pointy protrusion on an AFDB which messes with the psytronics. http://zapatopi.net/afdb/#WHAT
…a Golden fashion statement.
a staff or a golf club. Because if its a golf club, I’m pretty sure Old Joe can afford the latest technology.
My first driver was a persimmon one that looked like that. I got it from my elderly neighbor, who if he was alive today would be about 125.
And nobody holds a driver like that.
Your selective cut and paste of a 25 year old story (!) is going to SINK Joe. I’m going to go cry in my Cheerios.
HAHAHAHA Nobody cares, except the religious people you’re offending.
So, Mr. Church Goer, how do you reconcile the social teachings of Jesus with your political/social beliefs?
There are a hell of a lot of atheists and agnostics who appear to be better Christians than you.
I am SO tired of the fable that we need to respect religions. Especially when said religions are nothing more than fairy tales, justify wars, and cause dissension.
A pox on you and your ilk.
just ask Mitt Romney.
Pretty sure Jesus would’ve sucked the pension out of GST Steel too.
that makes it OK to say the world is going to end in the year 2000. Please do blockquote the whole thing that makes it sound perfectly reasonable.
He was only 45 at the time of the article. I’m sure many of us believed weird things when we were young.
Now we’re talking Willard’s language . . .