Dr. Chaps' Fire Hose May Not Be Your Fire Hose

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by: Jason Salzman

(No jokes please – Promoted by Colorado Pols)

Rep. Gordon Klingenschmitt (R).

In what appears to be his first comment on his legislative activities, State Rep. Gordon "Dr. Chaps" Klingenschmitt told Rocky Mountain Community Radio's Bente Birkland last month:

Dr. Chaps: I feel like I'm drinking from a fire hose. There has been so much information thrown at us, and the budget process is very complicated. You have the Joint Budget Committee. You have the Appropriations Committee. You have the Finance Committee. And then you have the fiscal-note staff.

I'm just honored to be here, following the footsteps of all the people who've gone before us for 150 years.

The Colorado General Assembly convenes this week, and reporters from across the country will naturally be drawn to Klingenschmitt, as they should be. But does he deserve to be quoted even for the "drinking-from-the-fire-hose" cliche?

I say yes. He's a star, having most recently been named one of "America's 20 Craziest Politicians" by GQ magazine. (The men's magazine zeroed in on his battles against lesbians.) People are legitimately curious about him.

But the key in covering Klingenschmitt will be to find out if what you think he's saying comports to what he's really thinking. Like the fire hose comment. Seems innocuous enough to a normal person. But with Klingenschmitt, you never know until you ask him about it. When else, for example, did Dr. Chaps feel like he was drinking from a fire hose? And what does it mean to him?

9 thoughts on “Dr. Chaps’ Fire Hose May Not Be Your Fire Hose”

bullshit! says:

January 5, 2015 at 2:34 pm

This is not a family friendly blog post.

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(not) Dr. Chaps says:

January 5, 2015 at 2:44 pm

If I'm talking about drinking from a fire hose, I mean a hose that shoots actual fire. And brimstone. I've taken the hellfire spit out at me by the lackeys of the bureaucracy and converted it to pure knowledge. Except for that TABOR stuff. Not even the rankest demon in Hell could have come up with that Bruce crap.

To quote my good friend Mr. M. Inem:

Who can catch lightning in the bottle, set fire to water?
Coming out the nozzle on the fire hose, flyer than swatters
Smash an hourglass, grab the sand, take his hands and cup 'em
Spit a rhyme and freeze the clock, take the hands of time and cuff 'em

Chaps can.

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1. FrankUnderwood says:
  
  January 5, 2015 at 2:52 pm
  
  I was actually visualizing something else…….sorry, doc!
  
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  1. Progressicat says:
    
    January 5, 2015 at 2:59 pm
    
    Something more like the Atheist's nightmare?
    
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    1. Miss Jane says:
      
      January 5, 2015 at 3:07 pm
      
      That just made me ill. How can people be so stupid and others actually take them seriously? Dumb and dumber.
      
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      1. taterheaptom says:
        
        January 5, 2015 at 3:26 pm
        
        Have you ever noticed how long your arm is?
        
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      2. FrankUnderwood says:
        
        January 5, 2015 at 5:37 pm
        
        that was ridiculous. Now let him explain the design of the Jeff Stryker dildo.
        
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    2. mamajama55 says:
      
      January 5, 2015 at 7:40 pm
      
      The most hilarious part was watching his friend try to keep a straight face while Cameron fondles the banana.
      
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      1. Progressicat says:
        
        January 5, 2015 at 8:31 pm
        
        That's Ray Comfort violating the fruit. Kirk Cameron is the loon on the right (from Growing Pains).
        
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