Say what you will, but the headline above is 100% accurate.
Congressman Mike Coffman (R-Aurora) was recently interviewed by Alex Gangitano for Roll Call as part of a feature the newspaper calls “Take Five” — a quick Q&A with a Member of Congress featuring questions that aren’t intended to be hard hitting journalism. This actually happened:
Q: What is your favorite local Colorado food?
A: Rocky Mountain oysters, usually at a bar. It’s something we do back home; it’s kind of hard to explain. [Editor’s note: Rocky Mountain oysters are fried bull, pig or sheep testicles.]
Coffman isn’t really known for his sense of humor — in fact, it’s not clear that he actually has a sense of humor — and that’s what makes this answer even weirder. Coffman is the cliche robotic politician who is trying way too hard to pretend that he has a personality of his own.
Rocky Mountain Oysters are accurately called a “novelty dish” by Wikipedia, and while you can find them occasionally at restaurants in Colorado, they’re not really a Colorado food item (fried testicles are more commonly called “prairie oysters” in Canada or “prairie fries” in Texas).
More importantly, nobody actually eats Rocky Mountain Oysters on a regular basis. If you ever catch someone saying, “Boy, I could really go for a plate of fried testicles,” you can reasonably assume that you are the first person to have heard this sentence spoken out loud.
Which brings us to this clip from the 1988 movie Funny Farm, in which the character played by Chevy Chase unwittingly scarfs down plate after plate of “lamb fries.” Mike Coffman would have you believe that he does this on the regular:
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More proof that he is NUTS
What swanky bar is he going to? Those things are expensive and most bars don't serve them. The first plate is on me if I could watch him try to eat them.
He's gotta find balls wherever he can.
There have long been rumors about Mike.
If he loses do you think he and his wife will finally start living in the same zip code?
My ex-father in law, bless his soul, loved these things. I tried them once.. Bleah. Never been a fan of organ meats. But he firmly believed in their, um, miraculous powers to raise the lifeless, so he'd eat "Oysters" by the plateful. Perhaps Mr. Coffman is seeking a similar miracle cure to stiffen his resolve for the coming showdown with Morgan Carroll? Or just to make life with Cynthia more…appetizing?
The Buckhorn Exchange and the Fort featured Rocky Mtn Oysters prominently on their menus.
If you like country music better, try this. It cracked me up. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLh-aHV8OW0
Coffman comes up short when compared to Iowa's Senator Ernst – who first cuts them out herself, and THEN eats them (while packing heat). It's what real Republicans do these days.
Growing up in southern Yuma County in the 70's it was a monthly winter ritual to go to Hale Hall (just below Bonny Reservoir) for the nut fry/beer fest/card party. Those were the days: rock-and-Roll on KOMA, sane legislators ala Bud Moellenberg and Bev Bledsoe and Bonny was an actual 'lake' not a sad excuse for a swamp.
Our ranch was a cow-calf operation then so we always had plenty of 'frys' in the freezer – along with cow tongue and blood sausage.
They are an actual item on every restaurant in Wray today. The Oyster basket for the tourists; the platter for those of us who are authentic Dumphuckistanians (and aspiring politicians).