Ted Cruz to Announce Carly Fiorina as Pointless Running Mate

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by: Colorado Pols

Carly Fiorina (right), with Rep. Gordon “Dr. Chaps” Klingenschmitt. Picture taken long before Fiorina was a pointless VP choice.

Republican Presidential candidate Ted Cruz is expected to announce today that he has selected Carly Fiorina as his “running mate.”

It is mathematically impossible for Cruz to win the GOP Presidential nomination, so this all seems particularly pointless. Our friends at “The Fix” attempt to explain:

Cruz and his team understand that after the primary votes over the past two weeks, any momentum he might have had following Wisconsin on April 5 is now gone. And all of it has gone to Donald Trump who now looks damn-near unstoppable in his quest to become the GOP’s nominee.

Given that reality, Cruz needs to change the narrative of the race. Immediately. There are five and a half days until the Indiana primary and if Cruz loses to Trump there the nomination fight will be effectively over. And, if nothing changes in the race in the Hoosier State, Cruz will lose…

…This is rightly understood as a desperate attempt to re-take the momentum in the race before it’s too late. To Cruz’s credit, he’s trying it. (I’m a big believer in leaving it all out on the field. If you are going to lose, lose with all of your best plays called. Or something.)…

…But, make no mistake: This is a Hail Mary pass. It, like the deal that Cruz and John Kasich cut earlier this week, amounts to a tacit acknowledgment that if nothing changes in the race Trump is going to win.

Could it work? Sure. Sometimes Hail Marys get caught. But usually they get knocked down and the other team starts celebrating.

So, there’s that.

12 thoughts on “Ted Cruz to Announce Carly Fiorina as Pointless Running Mate”

Phoenix Rising says:

April 27, 2016 at 3:01 pm

Cruz realized he didn't have enough crazy in him to keep up with Trump on his own, so in a bid to give the ticket a boost, he picked up Fiorina.

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Craig says:

April 27, 2016 at 4:10 pm

There's a blizzard in hell this year. And it's not only this item.

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Duke Cox says:

April 27, 2016 at 5:15 pm

Well, he got at least one female vote with that pick..

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Davie says:

April 27, 2016 at 5:38 pm

Paraphrasing something Scott McNealy of Sun Microsystems once said: Either they would be incredibly successful or we were going to empty the pool out with a belly flop.

My vote is for an empty pool.

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1. Jorgensen says:
  
  April 27, 2016 at 8:39 pm
  
  Ouch! Belly flop big time – and hopefully not paralyzed but awakened. Scott McNealy of Sun Microsystems, take heart, I bought a worthless HP computer under this woman's reign – the thing crashed within a month. Next, HP sent me a so-called new hard drive, only it crashed within 2 weeks – NO LIE! My tech told me that HP was taking short cuts, and sent me a used hard drive that was "cleaned" and horrible. So there you go, Mr. Cruz. How many other HP customers were screwed over under her top tenure and cut measures at HP? My guess, thousands. No thanks.
  
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BlueCat says:

April 27, 2016 at 6:30 pm

Forget Fiorina. Would somebody please tell me how any real American (or possibly earthling), much less one who claims to have had a basketball coach in High School, could possibly call a hoop a "ring"? In Indiana? A friggin' ring? No wonder his Senate colleagues can't stand him. I'm not sure he isn't a cyborg.

Ted Cruz tried to clean up a huge blunder he made on the campaign trail in Indiana by referring to a basketball hoop as a 'ring' – saying his high school basketball coach would have made him run 'laps and laps' for the technical foul.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3561578/Ted-Cruz-slammed-referring-basketball-hoop-ring-trying-recreate-scene-iconic-sports-movie-Hoosiers-Indiana-gym-filmed.html

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1. Colorado Pols says:
  
  April 27, 2016 at 6:32 pm
  
  He IS Canadian
  
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  1. BlueCat says:
    
    April 27, 2016 at 10:40 pm
    
    OK. A Canadian cyborg. As we speak the Toronto (pretty sure that’s in Canada) Raptors are presently ahead in the NBA (pretty sure that’s basketball) playoffs against…. wait for it….. the Indiana Pacers.
    
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    1. FrankUnderwood says:
      
      April 28, 2016 at 7:58 am
      
      You mean the Raptors were making more rings?
      
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      1. Colorado Pols says:
        
        April 28, 2016 at 8:23 am
        
        Lots and lots of rings
        
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MichaelBowman says:

April 27, 2016 at 8:39 pm

Just another Repug with a Ph.D. in TrickledOn Economics. Perfect choice for the man who cost the US taxpayers $20+ billion over a plate of Green Eggs & Ham. What next, a Gardner endorsement? Oh, wait…

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TobiasFunke says:

April 28, 2016 at 9:54 am

Why, these two go together like Hewlett-Packard and Compaq!

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