December 21, 2017 03:02 PM UTC

Tell Me What You Really Think Con Man Cory

• 3 Comments
• by: Davie

I wrote to Senator Gardner’s office recently expressing my displeasure with the tax bill just passed by the GOP-controlled Congress.  I got his official response today, and reading between the lines, what I imagine he’s really thinking.

Senator Gardner’s letter to constituents regarding the Tax Scam Bill (with annotations)

Dear Davie,

Thank you for contacting me regarding tax reform. I appreciate you taking the time to write.
(my staff has to read and respond your drivel, so what do I care?)
It is an honor to serve you in the United States Senate and I hope you will continue to write with your thoughts and ideas on moving our country forward.
(Gotta tell you, this Senate gig definitely is a great launching pad for my career. Ass-kissing isn’t so bad knowing it’ll payoff in the next few years. McConnell is teaching me all the best Kama Sutra positions for maximum results.)

On November 2, 2017, Congressman Kevin Brady (R-TX) introduced H.R. 1, the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act, which passed the House of Representatives on November 16, 2017. On December 2, 2017, the Senate passed an amended version of H.R. 1, with my support, by a vote of 51-49.
(even though we gave this bill the full bum’s rush — bypassing committees, debate and pesky Democrats — those were the longest two months of my life!)
Following negotiations in the Conference Committee, a revised bill was passed by both the House and Senate on December 20, 2017 and is expected to be signed by President Trump early next year.
(we passed this turd so fast, we almost forgot that if we sign it this year, we’d have to explain the $120 billion in automatic cuts in Medicare, etc. in January. Delaying the signing will let that stinkbomb explode in a non-election year.  By then the rubes most hurt who voted for us will either be dead or have bigger things to worry about and will have forgotten about this GOP screw job by the time 2020 rolls around)

This reform lowers the individual tax rates for low-and middle-income Americans (for a short while — we needed a fig leaf to cover our actual goal to give until it hurts to our billionaire donors), doubles the standard deduction (ok, almost doubles) to reduce the amount of taxable income (except for state income tax purposes, he he!) and expands the child tax credit from $1,000 to $2,000 (kinda, sorta, not all of it is refundable actually). Furthermore, H.R. 1 retains deductions for graduate students, medical expenses, and school teacher expenses, and it preserves bonds that help fund infrastructure projects. (we tried to gut them, but a few snowflakes on our side spoiled all our fun)

America is the land of opportunity (fortunately for opportunists like me!), but the current tax code is confusing, oversized, and places burdens on both businesses and individuals (so we made it even more confusing — we’ll write another dense, indecipherable bill to unscrew the mistakes our donors are already complaining about). Too many Colorado families have felt like they cannot get ahead over the last few years (with this bill we turn that “feeling” into a reality 🙂 ). Now is the time to fix our tax code (man did we ever! you can drive a dump truck through the new loopholes we’ve added!). Under this legislation, a family of 4 who has a median income of $73,000 will see a more than $2,000 decrease in their tax bill (don’t you wish you actually made $176,000 like me?  My refund will absolutely blow your mind!). That could mean one more family trip, after school sports programs for the kids, or even a little more money to save for a rainy day. Furthermore, reducing the tax burden on small businesses important to Colorado will help grow our economy, support job creation, and increase our global competitiveness (we already have a growing economy, not enough people to fill the job openings already available, and are kicking butt internationally, so we’re just glad to take credit for the booming economy we inherited). For instance, this legislation will provide relief to Colorado’s booming brewing and distilling business, and our state’s renewable energy industry will continue to flourish. All Americans will benefit from this pro-growth reform, and I am proud to have helped pass it.
(and you won’t believe how much $1.5 trillion earns in cash back rewards we in Congress are racking up with all the charges we’re putting on America’s credit card!)

Again, thank you for contacting me, and do not hesitate to do so again when an issue is important to you. (It gives my staff something to laugh about during Friday afternoon beer bashes!)

Sincerely,

Cory Gardner
United States Senator

PS.  Here’s a handy guide to the faults and apparent motivations for the GOP’s signal achievement this year:

How could nearly every Republican representative — and all 52 Republican senators — support the tax bill? The best answer may be the most cynical: because it benefits key leaders, their friends, their heirs and their donors.

After looking at the legislation in its entirety — its substance and the procedures used to get there — it is difficult to conclude that the motivations of its sponsors are either benevolent or somehow in the best interests of the country. More likely it is hypocrisy and venality mixed up into one awful bill.