Retired neurosurgeon and all-around-weirdo Ben Carson announced today that he is ending his Presidential campaign.
“I do not see a political path forward,” said Carson, acknowledging a reality that has been staring him in the face for 6 months or more.
So long, Ben. Please don’t shank anyone on your way out.
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Oh, this is so sad.
Now, all his prospective voters will stampede to Rafael.
Or, maybe not.
Or Trump?
I talked to his voters. Suzy is indeed going to Rafael. Lulu is switching to Bernie Sanders.
A complete and thorough survey by an experienced media reporter!
He is an honorable man in what is increasingly a dishonorable party. Now, his surgical colleagues can take Ted Cruz's knives out of his back and stitch him up. Depart in dignity, Sir.
Ben proves he is very smart.
He can still collect campaign contributions and not spend the money on campaigning.
Jeb! should be so smart.
What he means is, he's weighed his options between showing up (or not being invited) to Presidential debates and going back on the book tour full-time, and the book tour has a better ROI. Also, he doesn't get asked embarrassing questions about things like the purpose of Great Pyramid on the book tour.