( – promoted by Colorado Pols)
As far as I can tell there is no such thing as the Mensa Invitational- but some of these are pretty funny.
Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
(Likewise- I don’t believe WaPo has anything like this, but it’s still funny.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v.. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline..
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
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I find your attempt at humor ironic in light of your prolific and legendary diatribes and name calling throughout most of your posts here on Colorado Pols.
“Merry Christmas to you too
you misinformed, arrogant, nut job.”
by: MADCO @ Fri Dec 18, 2009 at 09:15:55 AM MST
What’s it like to be a perennial turd in the punchbowl?
I find MADCO to be one of the more thoughful posters here. Yes s/he has a sharp wit, but when use to good purpose like s/he does, it’s well appreciated (by most).
This is tiresome. Go away.
doesn’t get any less degenerate and nasty the more you repeat it. It’s been clearly explained to you the innocent circumstances around that juxtaposition, but you keep pushing the lie that allows you to continue playing the victim.
Your constant compulsion to be a shithead is beyond old and if you ever want your opinion on anything to be taken seriously, just stop this. Take some time away from the blog and do some soul searching. Join back in with a new determination to take your dings like everybody else does at times, and cherish those moments when others agree with what you write. Please.
Do you feel like Gracie or Lou Jerry?
Perhaps Jerry’s kids?
A) this was funny.
F, U, N, N, Y
You know, laugh at something that is surprising or ridiculous. My sense of humor is not always ….mainstream or correct.
But this was funny.
Ignoranus
That just kills. I saw Howie Mandel live one time. It was some corporate event for a bunch of sales reps – he had some pretty funny moments. But the whole hour set nothing, and I mean no thing, came even close to Ignoranus
B) D you know what Irony is?
See- what would be ironic, if my ripping your recent post apart was an attempt at humor, than this humorous posting might be ironic. Or if I had several failed attempts at humor, then this might be ironic.
Unless you just don’t find any of these funny- in which case you should seek professional comedic attention. I recommend starting with the recorded works of Bill Cosby and Woody Allen.
C) diatribes implies plural.
If I’ve posted anything that can reasonably be dscribed as a diatribe, it was one. ANd yes, I acknowledge freely that in as much as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, diatribeyness can be too. And you were meant to feel a sting. BTW – I didn’t assault you because you’re stupid. Nor only because you were wrong. But you were wrong in a way that is dangerous to our country.
D) I don’t mind having these little gunfights with you. But you should stop showing up with knives.
E) Yes, as already acknowledged I described you as a misinformed arrogant nutjob.
Misinformed – as in mistaken or factually incorrect
Arrogant – as in superior acting
Nut job- as in when you are the former, the latter is especially noticeable and foolish. When stridently the latter, well insanity is but one of many possibilities. Also, a term of deriding endearment.
If I don’t address you again before tomorrow morning, Happy Solstice.
And thanks for your original post, a bright spot in my day, that started to go downhill for other reasons early this morning (before I even read SH’s pettiness).
and you say “pettiness” I say potatoness.
embrace our new dictionary-mangling overlords.
Democrap, n. A new government managed scheme that takes more money from Americans in the form of taxes to pay for additional social engineering in the absence of competition.
Republicant, n. A program/war plan that does absolutely nothing but raise taxes and increase government involvement while the proponents cry about how big government is getting. Usually paired with a random social issue, which will also increase government involvement in citizen’s personal life, to draw attention away.
Republicamnesia, n. The condition of willful forgetfulness about a plutocratic kleptocracy that ginned up intelligence for an expensive war of convenience, embraced torture, drove the economy to the brink of depression and now blames those stuck cleaning up the mess for causing it. Sadly, this is a chronic, recurring condition.
Self explanatory.
I always knew you were a Mensa. 🙂
Liberturd, n. Blog handle that appears daily to piss on your progressively bigger government group grope.
p.s. greatly looking forward to Sirota on Monday a.m., I’m sure he’ll be calling this Senate bill out for what it is …. disgusting.
Unfortunate little weasel with a pre-school mentality that unsuccessfully tries to piss people off by typing random nonsense on his mom’s computer.
I’m going to channel my inner Libertad and post something entirely off topic here, except that it’s funny, but also quite disturbing.
… I think …
I love it. Highly recommended. Nice to see some humor around the joint.
Josh Penury: The joke that government can’t help people get out of poverty.
(so Libertad doesn’t call me out on that again!)
McGinnis: n. Colorado Republican with supposedly high name recognition despite no one knowing his actual name.
I’m OK, but you are an SOB