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January 08, 2020 10:45 AM UTC

Crazies Of All Stripes Get Ready For Legislature's Opening Day

  • 20 Comments
  • by: Colorado Pols

WEDNESDAY UPDATE #2: It’s not a party until the Proud Boys show up with their boots on:

Now that elevates the discourse.

—–

WEDNESDAY UPDATE: Via the Colorado Times Recorder, the Colorado Freedom Force Opening Day rally has begun at the state capitol with an estimated 200 protesters sounding off their color-coded conspiracies:

Stay sanitary out there.

—–

With the second regular session of the 72nd Colorado General Assembly kicking off tomorrow, the noisier segments of the local fringe-right are set to make their presence cringeworthily known! First up is another protest hosted by the always-entertaining Americhicks, featuring a cross-section of right wing activists spanning issues from guns to abortion to vaccine conspiracy theories.

There’s even a handy color code to help outsiders sort the freaks out:

Wait, there’s a conspiracy theory for 5G cell service? Yes, gentle readers–there is.

From there, the freakshow heads indoors for a “town hall meeting” with GOP Rep. Dave Williams of Colorado Springs. Williams is apparently the House sponsor this year of something he calls the “Vaccine Consumer Protection Bill.” While school districts and local governments around the country are tightening their vaccination requirements in response to outbreaks of preventable diseases, Williams and the GOP “anti-vaxx caucus” want to go the other way:

For your health and convenience, hand sanitizer is conveniently located throughout the building.

Day 1 of 120, folks. We do not foresee it becoming any less kooky.

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20 thoughts on “Crazies Of All Stripes Get Ready For Legislature’s Opening Day”

  2. Best wishes to Senator Lois Court.  It was reported today that she will resign soon due to serious health issues.  I hope another senator will step forward to co-sponsor her bill to ban handheld cellphones while driving.  That bill has a good chance of passing this session.

  3. Deep state conspiracy?

    Head of NOAA says 5G deployment could set weather forecasts back 40 years. The wireless industry denies it.

    Two NOAA satellites (as well asinternational agencies) fly microwave sensors that transmit important water vapor data at a frequency of 23.8 gigahertz, where they are potentially vulnerable to interference. In March, FCC auctioned off spectrum for wireless transmission in the adjacent 24 gigahertz band.

    The proximity of the two bands could expose the water vapor data to out-of-band emissions deeming them unreliable. Gerth said “it is undisputed” that this water vapor data is necessary for weather prediction models “to produce the most accurate forecast.”

    Who needs weather forecasts when IoET (Internet of Evil Things) surveilance data is the future of capitalism?

  7. Yes, I received your letter yesterday
    (About the time the door knob broke)
    When you asked how I was doing
    Was that some kind of joke?
    All these people that you mention
    Yes, I know them, they're quite lame
    I had to rearrange their faces
    And give them all another name
    Right now I can't read too good
    Don't send me no more letters no
    Not unless you mail them
    From Desolation Row

  10. Proud Boys. Lulz. Was this day 29 of their 30-day #NoWanks pledge?

    The Proud Boys rules also include new restrictions on members’ behavior. Proud Boys are banned from using opioids or crystal meth—although notably not cocaine, a drug McInnes has often extolled. Also now banned: wearing flip flops, fedoras, or cargo shorts to a Proud Boys meet-up. 

    In the past, “third degree” Proud Boys were prohibited from masturbating more than once a month. But the new rules, under a section in the bylaws dubbed “No Wanks,” extends that prohibition to all Proud Boys.

    “No heterosexual brother of the Fraternity shall masturbate more than one time in any calendar month,” the new rule reads,

      1. Let's check in with our resident #ProudBoy expert. Nutter, are the new by-laws words, or just pictures? Is there a fine for punching the possum too many times?

  11. It’s not a party until the Proud Boys show up with their boots on:

    Yes, and it's not really a Proud  Boys rally unless Grady Nouis is there to yell racial epithets at black people.

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