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December 28, 2010 07:07 PM UTC

Top Stories of 2010 #10: Dan Maes Discovers The Horrible Truth

  • 21 Comments
  • by: Colorado Pols

Kicking off our recap of the year’s biggest stories in Colorado politics is, naturally, the unlikeliest Republican nominee in the state’s history, Dan Maes. Of course, Maes’ discovery of the “horrible truth” could describe a number of events on the long campaign trail: that journalists actually check out the fictitious bios posted on one’s website, that campaigning involves more than filling your gas tank, and (related to the previous) there are limits on what you can reasonably reimburse yourself for–you should not expect campaign contributions to supply you with a personal income in excess of what you were making before you ran. That looks kind of, well, bad.

But on the way to Maes’ 11% slaughter in the general election, he did manage to perform one very important public service–his prescient warning that the Denver B-Cycle bike sharing program is, in fact, a “very well-disguised” strategy by the United Nations to assault American freedom. TPM reported in early August:

…Maes, a Tea Party friendly candidate facing former Rep. Scott McInnis in the August 10 Republican primary, has come out against a public bicycle program run by the city of Denver. Denver’s mayor, John Hickenlooper, is the presumptive Democratic nominee, and a cycling supporter.

“This is all very well-disguised, but it will be exposed,” Maes said at a small campaign rally last week, according to the Post. “These aren’t just warm, fuzzy ideas from the mayor. These are very specific strategies that are dictated to us by this United Nations program that mayors have signed on to.”

Well, folks, if there’s one thing you need to know about the at-large citizenry of Denver, Colorado, it’s this: they don’t take subversive plots by world government supervillains lying down. Just a couple of weeks after Maes won the GOP primary over scandal-plagued candidate Scott McInnis, the Denver Cruisers spontaneously organized a bicycle-borne mock invasion of the streets of downtown Denver by hundreds of blue-helmeted stormtroopers–like the scary fellow at right.

On the other hand, there were some indications (left) that the Denver Cruisers were merely having some fun at Mr. Maes’ expense, and really weren’t taking Maes’ warnings of imminent capitulation to the U.N.’s evil agenda, you know, seriously.

So we, like everyone else, are left to ask the question: was it the warning about the “U.N. bicycle plot” that pushed Maes out of the realm of viable candidates, and into joke territory? Probably not–much of the exposure of Maes as a clueless, two-bit fraud, running for Governor more or less because he couldn’t hold down a regular job, had already happened by this time.

But it was a great moment to stop and revel in the absurdity to which this election had descended.

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21 thoughts on “Top Stories of 2010 #10: Dan Maes Discovers The Horrible Truth”

  1. I was reading and paying attention on this site around that time, and all of a sudden Maes went from serious to joke. And it wasn’t the site editors (who also thought Tipton was a joke to lesser effect). Just somehow everyone concluded Maes was not a serious candidate at once, and it seemed like this happened well before the bicycle story but somewhat after the mileage reimbursement story. I was never sure quite what did it, but it seemed like the worst thing to happen to Maes was winning the primary.

    2. Once the bicycles became the UN take over method of the U.S. I can sure see pedaling from Aurora all the way to the Kansas border just to be taking over the wheat farmers for the ultimate master minds at the UN building in NYC.

      That story gained a lot of traction early and went international a week later.  The complete inanity of it instantly placed Maes in to the Al foil hat and fruitcake world.

      1. Seriously, there is a lady who attends every city council meeting here. She complains that city efforts in support of sustainability are part of a UN conspiracy … ICLEI conspiracy; see Blacklisted News for details. The problem — she has consumed tons of staff time and City Manager time.

  2. He was the perfect example that, in America like nowhere else on this planet, even a nobody can aspire to somday become a has-been.

    (Most notable was the way that Dan was able to accomplish that feat in just one summer.)

    1. I’m Beej and I’m a fucking moron ! Lookie here !

      Of course that is not what you are posting but that is indeed the message we’re all receiving.

    3. Thanks to the secret underground fortress built with funds from ACORN and for the use of Number 1, Lord Soros, our nefarious plan to make people healthier, reduce pollution, and reduce traffic congestion is succeeding beyond our wildest dreams! Bwahahahahaha!

      First popularized in European cities such as Paris and Barcelona, bike sharing is quickly expanding around the world in locations like Beijing, Montreal and, most recently, Mexico City.  B-cycle’s Denver B-cycle system launched with 500 bikes at 50 stations on Earth Day 2010 and was the first large scale system to launch in the United States.  2010 also witnessed the launch of other bike-share systems in Minneapolis, Chicago, Des Moines and Washington, D.C.

      2011 will see bike share systems install in San Antonio, Texas, Broward County, Florida, and Boulder, Colorado in addition to a number of other potential locations currently under development.

      http://www.bcycle.com/

      Soon we will control the world!

  4. The bicyles are gone now – I have not seen them at the regular places.  Does that mean Dan Maes saved us and the UN is not running Denver, or that the takeover by the UN was successful?  

    The whole Dan Maes thing was my favorite story of the year – everyone though it was just the most silly thing they had ever heard.  Many were a-maes-ed that he was really the Republican candidate for office.  

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