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June 02, 2011 07:30 PM UTC

At Least He's Not Your Tragically-Named Congressman

  • 50 Comments
  • by: Colorado Pols

UPDATE: While Weiner has handled this “scandal” with the grace of a dancing camel, it’s beginning to appear as though he may have indeed been targeted in a conservative hit job.

—–

Obviously, the Washington Post chose reporter Rachel Weiner to write this story for our friends at The Fix because of her writing talent–but it’s probably worth noting her ability to empathize, at least partly, with the latest Congressman who may or may not have sent a photo of his manhood to an unsuspecting female Twitter user. And yes, all much worse when your last name is Weiner, and there’s really nothing you can do about that. It’s a heartless playground out there, kids:

After days of confusing statements regarding a lewd image sent from his Twitter account, Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-N.Y.) said Thursday morning that he is not answering any more questions about the incident.

“This prank has apparently been successful,” Weiner told reporters gathered outside his office. “After almost 11 hours of answering questions, any that anyone wanted to put, today I’m going to have to get back to work doing the job that I’m paid to do.”

Of course, Weiner said on Tuesday that he was “not going to allow this to be what I talk about all week,” only to find himself a day later sitting down for one-on-one interviews with NBC, Fox News, CBS, CNN and ABC. Those interviews did nothing to end the scrutiny, as Weiner refused to say “with certitude” that the photo, which showed an underwear-clad groin, was not of him…

So, all of this could well have been left in the gray area of hackings and malicious hoaxes against Democratic Rep. Anthony Weiner, but that changed dramatically when the congressman was unable, for whatever reason, to deny that the photo of (as widely described) bulging underpants sent via his Twitter account to a female college student was in fact of his bulging underpants.

Because one should be able to speak conclusively on that right off the bat (ba-dum-bump).

Which leads us to a rule we would think is axiomatic for anyone in public office, but evidently needs restating: do not ever, ever take a picture of your junk in an electronically-distributable format. Actually, go ahead and avoid taking pictures of your own junk altogether just to be safe. For one thing, we have to to meet an actual woman who thinks it’s sexy.

And if your last name is Weiner, for God’s sake, don’t break this rule. It goes double for you, and until an entire generation of Beavis and Butthead fans die off, it always will.

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50 thoughts on “At Least He’s Not Your Tragically-Named Congressman”

  1. And they sometimes take pictures of their junk even though they know better.

    For fuck’s sake, none of us would be here if getting some weren’t such a powerful motivator to take risks and do potentially stupid things. Granted, if Weiner sent that picture intentionally I’d be pissed solely because he’s married to my girl-crush and if he’s not gonna share then he doesn’t get to cheat on her.

  2. I’m not a dude, but I wouldn’t. And it’s really the least of the alleged crime. I don’t know how normal taking junk snapshots (if it were someone I didn’t adore – ROFLMAO, this is too fun. And we all need to grow up), but that’s definitely not why he’s in trouble. If he is at all.

    OTOH, I used to know a woman who would seriously consider getting a certain “very married” state Senator into that hotel room he’s always blathering about, and then taking pictures to distribute before running away laughing. So maybe it is Weiner’s junk. (Did you know? Close up, naked junk looks like terrain.) So what? What he does with his junk in the privacy of his junk space is his business. Is he sexually harassing women, or, arguably, sexually assaulting women? THAT’S the question.

    I believe that question has been answered by blog investigations. (Go-go-Gadget Main Stream Media!) And if it is his junk, so unfortunately displayed, Mazal Tov.

      1. In all seriousness, it went to a young woman who didn’t want it, correct? If that’s true, it should be investigated. In Colorado, thanks to our ’07 law, this could quite possibly be a criminal offense and I don’t think we were the first state to pass such a law. It could be the first case when a sexual assault happened using someone else’s junk. Landmark! (Landshark?)

        1. I don’t think you’re giving intrepid sex criminals enough credit.

          As far as it being someone else who sent it, I’m not sure that’s clearly been established. The fact that Rep. Weiner has been reluctant to call for an official investigation does not lend itself to the idea that someone else got into his Twitter account.

          1. If he really did send it, he has a serious problem. That’s quite possibly the dumbest thing of all time and he’s not dumb. That’s like going to the Target and demanding NAMBLA porn, loudly. While a news crew is doing a story on the liquor. Bad.

            Anyway, thank God for the internet. Look at how well we all stay connected! 🙂 To be fair, how often in the internet’s history has junk not played a huge part? That minute at the beginning and that other minute… Give me a day or so and I’ll figure out the other time.

            Now I’ve hit some kind of penis conversation threshold today. Thanks a lot to all involved.

            2. Phooie, well that ruins MY plans to spend the afternoon emailing you weiner jokes.

              (Not really. But it would be more fun than everything else on my agenda. Which say more about my agenda than my taste in humor.)

  3. Say one thing:  “No Comment, on the advice of my attorney who is investigating this potential crime.”   That’s it.

    It works for practically anything.

  4. Don’t take cell phone photos or e-mail any photos to anyone that you wouldn’t be happy to see become the subject du jour of a news cycle or two. Especially if you have a made to order name to go with said photos. That will work a lot better than vainly hoping America will grow up any time soon.

    1. “Listen, Anchor, I agreed to appear on your show to say one thing: Our troops are overseas facing death and disabling injury every day. Next time you get tempted to make my penis your top story on the evening news, go take a cold shower and call your Afghanistan correspondent instead.” (Exit stage left.)

      Or maybe he should just go on some talk show and drop his pants and be all “There. Now it’s old news. Can we move on?”

      1. I think he’s stuck and all the advice in the world won’t help. Classic damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

        Nice and oddly, I’ve been thinking of the angle. Hm. Nothing to do with this post, just me thinking out keyboard.

  5. I hate to be critical of CPols, but Anthony Weiner is a SAINT – an advocate for the NYC Mosque, gay marriage, and undocumented immigrants – he champions the reforms of the minority, with little care for the polls – it something to admire and cherish

    Perhaps this was Weiner’s picture and perhaps he was ‘fishing for fun’ outside of his marriage, which is wrong – but that said, many politicians have done the same, like David Vitter, Craig, etc, with many of them decrying homosexuality and rousing the public in support of ‘family values’

    Weiner is no hypocrite, unlike many other politicians involved in sex scandals

    I pray for Anthony Weiner and hope that his great leadership continues (whether in Congress or as Mayor of NYC)

    1. Sometimes people who make us politically happy do stupid things. As long as it is news, it’s news. Ultimately Dems usually deal better with these things not ending careers, but it does need to be aired. (Damn! Can’t help the juvenile jokes apparently.)

      Anyway, can you imagine the conspiracy theories on this site if they didn’t write it?

      2. Good for Pols to have not ignored it like so many other Democrat scandals. And I still find Rep. Weiner’s behavior to be a little odd, though I confess I can’t put too fine a point on it.

        Whee!

    3. Though I agree with Droll that they pretty much had to cover this since they covered the Craigslist Congressman. In any case, fist bump for team “Get the Fuck Over It, Weiner is a Saint.”

      I’m beginning to think that we should just body scan our politicians when they’re sworn in to office and send every man, woman, and child in America a copy. Then it’s over and done with and we don’t have to hear about it if someone one day discovers the SHOCKING truth that they have GENITALS!

      (Though, if someone found a pair of testicles in the Republican delegation during a Patriot Act vote… now THAT would be news. I’m pretty sure they all crawl away like Tribbles and hide until after everyone has duly reauthorized the security state to run the Constitution through an industrial strength shredder…)

      1. .

        was the first to post a link ANYWHERE ON POLS to the debunking of the allegations ?

        .

        and please stop with the equating of righties with Republicans.  

        Democrats and Republicans have more in common.

        .

        1. (And also to some of the other righties over on LGF – who would have thought to have given them credit for anything a couple of years ago?)

          Though I think a couple of us were ahead of you on refuting the allegation, I don’t know that we included links…

        2. and redstateblues linked further and begets most the comments … oh well

          at least got to 2 give u mad props if UR truly a rightie but u make a left-ish blogsite like cannonfire part of your daily reads.  

    5. No pun intended (okay, maybe a little). The way he has responded has been weird to say the least, and it’s just too hard to ignore now.  

    6. on everything except the “Tabor4Life” sig line, in which case, I disagree with him one hundred percent.

      Yet, I still think the advice Pols gave is sound – stop taking digital images of your private parts (or anyone else’s, for that matter) if you have any kind of job. Somehow, someone will probably get ahold of them, and the outcome will not be good.  

    1. I went to school with of fellow grandchildren of Eastern European Jewish immigrants.  How about trying toget through  Jr. High and High School with a names like “Slutsky” and “Lipshitz”? No “Boigons” though.  I might have taken it for French.  

      1. LGF (yes, former not-worth-the-time LGF) had a post up today stating that the “private” part of the yfrog email address was actually pretty easy to hack as well.

        Yfrog has now disabled e-mail photo uploads.  Gee, wonder why?

                  1. Hasn’t been that long since he had a close shave? Either way, I’m not sure this story is finished waxing, now that a conspiracy has entered – hanging a u-turn to the right. Awkward.

              2. Breitbart distanced himself from it once the whole thing started to shrivel, but he was apparently involved in having it posted in the first place and didn’t do any debunking when a real journalist might have.  He’s like a turd trying to stay afloat in the toilet bowl.

      1. .

        It’s just that, after reveling in the apparent downfall of someone with whom I disagree, Congressman W,

        when I saw a conversation that was slightly over my head, technically, but seemed to show that this was all bogus,

        I thought I better share it before anymore of my righty running partners made fools of themselves.  

        .

  8. used to say, “I understand why Grandfather Jabwolzochuztme, decided to shorten the family name when he arrived in America, but I’ll never, ever understand why he chose ‘Jablome’ instead.”

    1. My uncle just spells it, then tells anyone dumb enough to ask that you pronounce it “Smith.”

      The rest of us were either fortunate enough to marry out of it, or be born after a said marriage.

  9. I resent any association with Anthony Weiner, expressed or implied. I saw his interviews and trust me, most would rather have a Dancing Camel.

    David

    The Dancing Camel Brewery

    Tel Aviv, Israel

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