July 13, 2012 06:12 AM UTC

Former House Comms Director has yogurt recommendations for Gessler, Hick, McNulty, and others

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• by: Jason Salzman

Westord’s Patricia Calhoun reports that Katie Reinisch, the former director of communications for state House Democrats, is now running a Red Mango yogurt shop near East High School.

Calhoun quotes Reinisch’s recommendations,  if some of the people she used to see at the state Capitol stop by her store:

Secretary of State Scott Gessler, whose nickname is “Honey Badger”: Honey Badger with gummy worms and cinnamon bears so he could bite the heads off. (By the way, our wesome Honey Badger is made with two ingredients: our own yogurt and Colorado clover honey from Rice’s in Greeley.)

Governor John Hickenlooper: After noticing that we don’t have a beer flavor, he’d swirl Original with Pomegranate — and also try Chocolate with Peanut Butter…thereby disappointing some onlookers but not terribly upsetting anyone.

Sal Pace, Joe Miklosi and Brandon Schafer : Since they’re busy campaigning for Congress, they’d send surrogates who keep asking others for “just a little,” over and over again, until everyone ignores them.

Former Governor Bill Ritter: He’d ride his bike here and get so distracted admiring the beetle-kill pine, the CFL bulbs, the low-flow toilets that Jeanne would have to mix him a cup of white peach and black cherry.

Senator Pat Steadman and representatives Mark Ferrandino and BJ Nikkel: They’d top their cups with a colorful array of mini-M&Ms and rainbow sprinkles, even as some GOP legislators pelted BJ with Sour Patch Kids.

Speaker Frank McNulty: He’d want a mango smoothie; no, a cup of chocolate; no, he hates it; no, he loves it; no, he disapproves, but won’t stop it. Oh, look, he’s leaving empty-handed.

Former senator Ken Gordon: He’d make a fuss about who paid for all this.