April 20, 2023 04:18 PM UTC

We Started a Schism Between DeBottoms

• 4 Comments
• by: Colorado Pols

Yesterday evening, far-right freshman GOP Rep. Scott “There Is No” Bottoms was back home at the Church of Briargate in Colorado Springs where he serves as senior pastor, giving the faithful an update on his side gig in the legislature (definitely no tax issues here) where Bottoms has become one of the most outrageous rhetorical envelope-pushers under the Gold Dome–along with fellow Colorado Springs freshman Rep. Ken “Skin” DeGraaf, enough that we’ve branded the pair the “Unambiguously Lame Duo” for their frequent tag-team races to…well, DeBottom.

Responding to a question about House Speaker Julie McCluskie, Rep. Bottoms let it slip that this image (above) has caused a bit of a divide between the two crusaders sans capes, neither of whom apparently wants to be the other’s trusty sidekick:

BOTTOMS: She hates me, that’s very obvious. She singled me out in a few different ways and we made, we made that clear, we’ve even addressed this with her personally. But she also really hates Ken DeGraaf, who’s the guy I carpool with. He’s mine, uh, were called “the pilot in the preacher.”

Actually, they did at somebody else. I remember, who I don’t, I read part of, it, actually read this whole, this one of the only articles I read the whole thing–they called us Batman and Robin. And, but they made me Batman, and him Robin. And he is still, very ticked about this. He’s still very angry and he tells me all the time. [Pols emphasis] You know, Batman’s a pilot ’cause he’s a pilot, right? Batman’s a pilot. Robin’s probably a preacher. And I’m like, I don’t think…I need to move on. I was the Batman, let’s just move on.

First of all, thanks for reading all the way through any of our stories! The truth is that we could have probably flipped a coin to determine who played Batman vs. Robin in this picture, but in the end Bottoms had the right campy expression for Adam West’s Batman and DeGraaf just looked better in a twinkish 1960s Robin costume. It would seem we’ve gotten entirely backward who DeBottoms in their relationship is, though, and we’re sorry about that. You hate to get these relationship power dynamics wrong, especially at parties.

Not enough to change it, of course. Let them argue about it for all eternity like the divas they are.