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October 13, 2023 02:10 PM UTC

At Least Scott Bottoms is Probably Not Your Legislator

  • 11 Comments
  • by: Colorado Pols
State Representative and ‘Pastor’ Scott “There is No” Bottoms speaks to his flock of sheep in Colorado Springs

One of our longest running features at Colorado Pols is something we call, “At Least They’re Not Your Legislator,” where we detail a strange story that is normally about a politician from somewhere outside of Colorado.

Sometimes, unfortunately, this feature applies to weirdos in our own state.

State Rep. Scott “There is No” Bottoms, a Republican from Colorado Springs who fancies himself to be the “real” leader of the House Republican caucus, was giving his regular Wednesday sermon thingy at the Church at Briargate this week when he went full conspiracy crazypants:

BOTTOMS: I have to throw this out there because I’ve said it. I’ve been saying this for at least six months now. I would strongly stand on the mentality… I’m not completely [sic] but I think there is a very good chance that we’re not going to have another presidential election. Okay? [Pols emphasis]

Okay.

Wait, what?

BOTTOMS: Remember I mentioned this, ah, three or four months ago? That the White House set up an official office of ‘The Office of Pandemic Response’? Okay? Why?

Why? Maybe so that we don’t get caught with our metaphorical pants down the next time there is an outbreak of a virus or something similar? Pandemics do tend to happen more often than we would like to admit.

That’s not why? Oh, then what’s the real reason, Pastor Bottoms?

BOTTOMS: It’s because they’re planning another pandemic. [Pols emphasis] Why do you set up a pandemic response thing if, if we beat this baby back with all of the vaccines? Right?

Depends on what you mean by “beat this baby back,” because COVID infections have actually been increasing in Colorado. That’s why health officials are recommending people receive another booster shot ASAP.

You can probably already see where Bottoms is headed: The government invented COVID-19! Except, wasn’t Donald Trump the President then? Eh, no matter.

BOTTOMS: It’s because the whole thing’s been a sham from the beginning and the there’s gonna be another pandemic. So you put that together.

We’re involved in a war maybe on two fronts, we have uh another “Planned-demic” that’s in the process, all this other stuff. Uh, well, guys we can’t have an election in the middle of all that chaos. We have to declare martial law. We have to fix all of this stuff. We can’t have all that.

I really do believe that’s where we’re headed. And when I said this the first time, like 6 months ago, I was like, ‘I’m about to say something nobody is going to agree with.’ Right? We might not have an election!

And most people were like, ‘Nah, he’s lost it. He has finally gone over.’ Doesn’t sound so crazy right now, does it? [Pols emphasis]

No, it still sounds crazy. Why would it be different now? Just because you said it twice?

You can watch all of Bottoms’s ridiculous commentary below, which includes a bunch of other nonsense about the United States and Israel knowing in advance that Israel would be attacked by Hamas; a complicated theory about Russia, Ukraine, and China; and a bunch of fearmongering about mail ballots.

Remember all of this when the legislature reconvenes in January and Bottoms voices an opinion on, well, anything. Nobody should take this man seriously.

For any reason.

Ever.

 

 

 

Comments

11 thoughts on “At Least Scott Bottoms is Probably Not Your Legislator

  1. I might be a conspiracy theorist too, but stuff like this makes me wonder if something like the CWD prion hasn't mutated in a way that threatens logical thought among the infected.

  2. Wait, what? No blabbering about how the Jews have weaponized vaccines for use in their covert war of extermination against the white race? What a RINO this guy is!

      1. It's a never-ending source of . . . well, something . . . that Christians of this Bottoms idiot's ilk are staunchly pro-Israel because having all the Jewish folk in the same place will make it easier on the invisible magic sky daddy when he decides the time has come to annihilate them all.

  3. “nobody should take this man seriously….for any reason…..Ever.”

    I’ll gently disagree. Didn’t Yoda once say: “never under-estimate the power of the Dark Side.”

  4. Shouldnt they be jerking off for Israel and the "Rapture" or something? Why would they care about vaccinations for the "left behind" people? Could we strike that deal with these morons two laws one for "departing soon" and the rest for us normal people.

  5. I just got my 5th covid vaccine shot this afternoon and Bill Gates is telling me not to worry. He has scheduled an election for November 2024. Democrats vote on Tuesday , GOPers on Wednesday, and all the rest on Thursday.

  6. The city set up a "police department." Why? Because they're PLANNING MORE CRIMES!

    The state set up a "health department." Why? Because they're PLANNING MORE DISEASES!

    The federal government funds a standing "army." Why? They're PLANNING ANOTHER WAR!

    Cheese and crackers, dude.

  7. These are the logical contortions of someone who really really really needs to feel like a persecuted victim to justify their existence but doesn't have any obvious reality landmarks to point others to.

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