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April 26, 2024 09:39 AM UTC

At Least She's Not Your Puppy Murdering Governor

  • 21 Comments
  • by: Colorado Pols

In another edition of our long running series, “At Least They’re Not Your Legislator,” we take you to South Dakota, where…

[Holy Christ, this is a real story?]

South Dakota Republican Gov. Kristi Noem, a self-confessed puppy killer. Seriously.

…South Dakota Republican Gov. Kristi Noem, who may well end up as Donald Trump’s running mate, is a LITERAL PUPPY KILLER.

As The Washington Post reports:

South Dakota Gov. Kristi L. Noem (R), a reported contender to be Donald Trump’s 2024 running mate, details in her forthcoming book how she once killed a family puppy and goat in the same day after she deemed the former to be “less than worthless … as a hunting dog,” according to the Guardian, which obtained a copy of the book in advance of its publication next month.

Part of the book traces the fate of Cricket, a 14-month-old female wirehair pointer, which Noem was trying to train as a pheasant hunting dog. Cricket had an “aggressive personality” and, on a hunt with older dogs, went “out of her mind with excitement, chasing all those birds and having the time of her life,” Noem wrote.

Noem then wrote that, when she stopped to talk to a local family after the hunt, Cricket escaped from her truck and attacked the family’s chickens like “a trained assassin.”

“I hated that dog,” Noem wrote, according to the Guardian. She decided Cricket had proven herself “untrainable” and “dangerous” to those with whom she came in contact. “At that moment, I realized I had to put her down.”

Noem said she got her gun and led Cricket to a gravel pit.

“It was not a pleasant job, but it had to be done,” she wrote. [Pols emphasis]

Gah!

If we asked you to think of the worst possible message to use against a political candidate, how long does it take before you get to, “So-and-so hates puppies?”

In fact, it has long been a running joke in politics to use imagery of puppies to soften a candidate’s rough edges or to compare the vitriol in campaign commercials. Candidates have even brought up the idea preemptively in campaign ads — such as this infamous spot from then-Republican Senate candidate Michael Steele in Maryland:

 

As for Noem, the best thing you can say about her at this point is that at least she (probably) doesn’t eat puppies. And if you’re Donald Trump, how can you possibly entertain the idea of making this person your running mate now?

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21 thoughts on “At Least She’s Not Your Puppy Murdering Governor”

  1. Just when I didn't think I could have a lower opinion of Kristi "Governor Karen" Noem, she makes me dislike her more.  I find her to be less than worthless. 

    Trump probably would be okay with making her his running mate knowing this.  He doesn't like animals.  He won't think that this might be a bridge too far for a lot of people.

  3. A Palin running mate repeat? I'm OK with that, even if it helps hush money hunny pick up South Dakota's electoral votes. Beyond that, I suspect her appeal beyond the super reddest of the super red is virtually nil.

  5. For those of us who have seen Civil War the highlighted paragraph above takes one back to the scene where the MAGAts were dumping people into a gravel pit. The MAGAT asked one hostage "what kind of American are you?" the man responded "Chinese-American".  You can guess what happened next. 

  6. Very courageous Kristi. These type of people will commit thoughtless unspeakable acts on innocent beings that are less powerful, then weep like Jenna Ellis and beg for mercy when they are brought to account for their actions. All very cowardly and pathetic. 

    1. Is there a voting bloc Tramp’s campaign has yet to tap? Adjudicated rapists and puppy killers for facism?  TRUMP-NOEM 2024! Because, why the hell not? 

  8. Mitt Romney 2012: I tortured a dog for eight hours, which proves conclusively that I am a can-do kind of guy who deserves your vote.

    Kristi Noem 2024: Hold my bath salts.

    2. back in the "Day"…yes, farm dogs who were not trained didn't last long…training is key tho…I am not a dog trainer, but I managed for years to live in harmony with my farming neighbors, with all sorts of livestock…and I have had a number of dogs who were all trained to respect neighbors livestock…it is not hard, but it is a pain in the ass to do…there was only one instance where I adopted a friends dog, who I caught chasing deer, taking the deer down, but before the dog could make the final kill, I shot the dog…I cried, while I dug the grave…but the law is the law…I did what was necessary, and I was not happy about it…but the truth of matter is, noem should have given the dog to a shelter…I have never ever done that again…it ate me up for a long time…

      1. Chances are the former *resident already had the vast majority of dog haters and those who see dogs as only "tools" voting for him.

        I still think the choice of VP will come to be a [real] billionaire who can dump money into the campaign. 

      2. Noem executed her dog in a gravel pit.

        Ted Cruz abandoned his dog in an empty house with no power when he fled to Cancun.

        Mike Huckabee’s son tortured a dog.

        Donald Trump hates dogs.

        We shouldn’t be surprised when these people act like sociopaths. #ThereIsAClub 

        1. At least Willard Mittens Romney gave Seamus, the dog famously strapped to the roof of the station wagon, a fighting chance compared to these assholes.

          Seamus got the last laugh because – according to Gail Collins – the dog developed a nasty case of the runs while riding on the roof.  (Maybe he had some pork sliders from that infamous greasy spoon in Rifle.)  

          While Seamus may have been terrified of traffic, the Romney family had a shitty trip, too.

          1. There is some confusion about timing … at least one version says it was a crowded car with family & dog, and then the dog began having digestive issues. 

            Seamus continued being a loved family pet.  Mitt Romney didn't pull a weapon in an effort to "solve' the problem.

            To Noem's credit, she is NOT the South Dakota politician who hit a pedestrian and left the scene of the event.

  12. Looks like the GOP – specifically the National Republcan Congressional Committee – is trying to make bank by selling autographed copies of everyone's favorite Murder/Fuck/Kill contestant's new "book." There truly is no bottom.

    The world will be a measurably better place when Noem dies, but I'll never see it. Someone that awful is destined for Kissingeresque longevity.

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