June 03, 2014 02:48 PM UTC

Shirtless Sheriff Makes Really Crappy Video

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• by: Colorado Pols

El Paso County Republican Terry Maketa, otherwise known 'round these parts as The Shirtless Sheriff, apparently created a video that he shared over the weekend with El Paso County Sheriff's Office employees. In recent weeks, The Shirtless Sheriff has been under withering criticism from the media and public officials alike over alleged misbehavior that includes claims of sexual misconduct, ethical violations, and generally just being a dick.

The same Terry Maketa who thought it wise to take a topless selfie and share it with co-workers tried his hand at a video apology that is pretty light on production value. The video, and the full story, is available at the Colorado Springs Gazette, which helpfully offers a transcription of a mumbly-Maketa.

El Paso County Sheriff Terry Maketa on Saturday sent a video to Sheriff's Office employees in which he admits that he "engaged in inappropriate behavior in the past" and apologizes. The sheriff also reiterated that he does not intend to step down.

"I come before you embarrassed and humbled of the events of last week," Maketa said in the video, referring to demands for his resignation after Equal Employment Opportunity Commission complaints by Sheriff's Office commanders and a deputy alleged sexual impropriety, discrimination, budget improprieties and a hostile work environment.

The Sheriff's Office said in a statement Monday that he made the video Saturday "so all employees could hear from him."

The video was distributed to employees via the Sheriff's Office's internal site Saturday afternoon and all employees were notified, the statement said.

The accusations led county commissioners to launch an investigation and then cast a unanimous vote of no confidence at Thursday's board meeting. Commissioners also asked that Maketa resign immediately.

We have so many questions here that we hardly know where to start.

Did Maketa make this apology video willingly, or was he being tortured?

Did he shoot this video with the same smartphone he used to take his now-famous shirtless selfie, or did he borrow someone's 8MM camera in order to create the proper effects?

Why is he talking so quietly — especially when there seems to be no microphone nearby? Did anybody bother listening to this before it was posted for employees?

If the lighting was so bad behind the desk, why not go back to the bathroom?

For more fun with The Shirtless Sheriff, check out Westword's re-imagination of the captions.