Top Ten Stories of 2014: Colorado GOP Goes WTF (#6)

Republican Reps. Libby Szabo and Brian DelGrosso were ostensibly managing the effort to take control of the State House in 2014. Together they could write an entire book on how not to find candidates for state legislative races.

Things looked so bad in July for House Republicans that it is a wonder how they could have even come close to gaining a majority in the State House. It was nearly August, in fact, before the GOP could actually finalize their roster of candidates for the fall. As we wrote at the time:

In the last 6-8 weeks, Republicans have been playing a weird game of musical chairs in 5 House Districts (HD3, HD23, HD28, HD29, HD35), changing out one bad candidate for another or secretly quietly filling vacancies without bothering to send out so much as a press release to the media. In several other districts, Republicans have fielded last-minute candidates with little name recognition in their respective districts.

Szabo and DelGrosso didn't just have trouble finding candidates who could actually put together a decent campaign — in several cases they struggled just to find someone to even put their name on the ballot. In HD-29 (Arvada), for example, former Republican Rep. Robert Ramirez abruptly withdrew from the race just a few days after the June Primary amid a slew of campaign finance complaints. A Republican vacancy committee replaced Ramirez with oddball candidate Susan Kochevar, who proved to be little trouble for incumbent Democratic Rep. Tracy Kraft-Tharp.

This is Nate Marshall. For a few weeks in March, Marshall was the Republican candidate in the always-competitive HD-23 seat in Lakewood.

As the only person to volunteer to run against incumbent Democratic Rep. Max Tyler during the Republican caucus process, Marshall had no competition for the nomination and was swiftly approved. It wasn't until after he had secured the GOP nomination for HD-23 that somebody bothered to Google his name…and realized the mistake they had made. As it turned out, Marshall had both a prominent criminal record and a history of associating with White Supremacist groups.

Jefferson County Republican Party Chair Bill Tucker publicly called on Marshall to drop out of the race less than a week after his nomination, and Marshall eventually obliged on April 9th. Inexplicably, Jeffco Republicans then waited for weeks to call a vacancy committee to replace Marshall on the ballot with former Jeffco School Board Member Jane Barnes. The process was so opaque that Colorado Pols ended up breaking the news that Barnes had been quietly selected; Republicans didn't inform the media about Barnes' nomination, probably because they didn't want anyone to see that they had missed the statutory deadline to find an official candidate. Though her name was allowed to remain on the ballot, Barnes did little real campaigning and was easily defeated by Tyler in November.

Republicans have a history of electing bizarre and controversial figures to represent the Colorado Springs district of HD-15, but they may have outdone themselves in 2014. Gordon "Dr. Chaps" Klingenschmitt is the next person in line from the district that once brought us Doug Bruce, and he's already drawn national attention as one of America's "20 Craziest Politicians."

When the legislature convenes in January, "Dr. Chaps" should be a regular source of ridiculous comments that overshadow other Republicans in the legislature. A former Navy chaplain who was discharged from the Navy for general lunacy, "Dr. Chaps" is now a televangelist who espouses countless offensive beliefs — including claims that "gays and Democrats" want to rape children, that President Obama is possessed by demons, and the strong likelihood that Obamacare actually causes cancer. We'd guess that Republicans will make every effort to get rid of "Dr. Chaps" in 2016, just as they booted Bruce after one term in the legislature. Until then, "Dr. Chaps" should prove to be a festering wound for the GOP as it tries to convince Coloradans that he does not represent them.

Fans of the Simpsons should recognize Cletus Spuckler, a minor character in the series who is portrayed as a bumbling backwoods idiot. Cletus is the cartoon version of Republican J. Paul Brown, a former State Representative who won back his seat in 2014 by narrowly defeating Democratic Rep. Mike McLachlan in HD-59 (Southwest Colorado).

Brown will compete with "Dr. Chaps" for the title of "Most Ridiculous State Representative" when the legislature convenes in January. Take a look at what we wrote in November when it appeared as though Brown would be declared the winner in HD-59 by a margin of less than 200 votes:

Rep. Brown frequently made headlines for his UN conspiracy theories, embarrassing homespun gaffes, and bizarre protest votes: once casting the only vote against a homeless youth prevention bill, and famously saying in explanation of his vote against children's health care coverage, "if I’m wrong, I guess, take me out behind the barn and give me a whipping."

J. Paul Brown is responsible for one of our favorite political quotes in recent memory, when he told a House committee that he once punched a bear:  “A bear woke me up by his bad breath, and I slugged him, and then I shot him.”

Republicans will hold an 18-17 majority in the State Senate when the legislature convenes in a few days, which means the GOP caucus also has new Senate leadership. Republican Sen. Bill Cadman (not pictured) will take over as Senate President, where he'll be joined by Assistant Majority Leader Kevin Lundberg and Majority Caucus Chair Vicki Marble.

Colorado politicos should be plenty familiar with the antics of Sens. Lundberg and Marble, both of whom have made plenty of news over the years for ridiculous statements and positions on various issues. But now that Lundberg and Marble are part of the caucus leadership, it will be much harder for Republicans to sweep their inevitable crazy talk under the rug.

Lundberg is as socially conservative as they come in Colorado politics, and over the years he has provided consistently entertaining diatribes on topics such as abstinence and gun rights; Lundberg is a longtime member of the ultra-right "Republican Study Committee" and likes to compare abortion to the Holocaust.

As for Marble, she is nearly in a class by herself when it comes to making offensive statements. To wit:

Marble has given Senate Republicans some of their most embarrassing incidents in the last couple of years, with her infamous rant about "problems in the black race," barbeque and fried chicken, and the "Mexican diet" resulting in much thinner brown people in Mexico making national headlines.

That was not the first embarrassing moment for Marble, who previously made bizarre statements like "Democrats will do anything to control the way our children learn, live, and even how they act in intimate relationships." Or her speech against equal pay for women, declaring "I feel like we've outgrown the Equal Pay Act of 1963."

It will be interesting to watch other Republicans during the legislative session as they attempt to balance the decisions of the new caucus leadership with their gut instincts to never be seen anywhere near Lundberg or Marble.