Our friends at Right Wing Watch posted about Republican Colorado Rep. Gordon “Dr. Chaps” Klingenschmitt’s latest Youtube sermon, in which he responds to criticism over his suggestion a few weeks ago that it would be “better” if gay Boy Scout leaders were “drowned in the depths of the sea.”
Here’s what Chaps really meant by that, folks:
[I]nsisting that he never called for gay scoutmasters to be drowned in the sea, Klingenschmitt brought on his close friend Janet Porter of Faith 2 Action to defend him from the “lies” and to pray against the attacks on him.
As Klingenschmitt explained, he never claimed that all gay men are child molesters … and that is because gay men and child molesters are clearly possessed by different demons.
“There are clearly two different demons at play here,” he said. [Pols emphasis] “There is, of course, a demon of homosexuality in those who openly parade their sodomy in the streets. But then there’s a different demon of child molesting that is inside some of these reported molesters … I’m not saying that all of the homosexuals are child molesters, I never claimed that. But I’ll tell you in this case, all the child molesters in the Boy Scouts are homosexual. And how can I tell that? Very simple, it’s logical, there were no girls in the tents. Those are men molesting boys and their attraction to other men, or even other boys, is a different demon and we’re calling that out.”
Got that? Not all gays are child molesters, but all the child molesters in the Boy Scouts are–wait for it–probably gay! Because it’s the Boy Scouts! That brilliant deductive reasoning obviously makes Rep. Klingenschmitt’s comments about child molesting Scoutmasters being drowned no big deal. Because, you see, it’s only the demon possessed gay folks–they’re all possessed, of course, but stay with him–who have the specific demon that causes child molestation who should be drowned. The rest of you demon-possessed sodomites, well, presumably Rep. Klingenschmitt praying for you as opposed to wishing death on you. At least until the next episode of Pray in Jesus’ Name.
There, aren’t you glad he cleared that up? No doubt House Minority Leader Brian DelGrosso is greatly relieved.
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By Chaps’ standards, this actually counts as progress!
We need a taxonomy here.
A "Field Guide To Demons and Those They Inhabit". It should include binomial as well as common demon names, regional distribution maps, nesting seasons and territories, if applicable. Address the burning question of whether there are male and female demons. Do male demons only possess male humans? (how ghey!)
It would be useful if it included drawings of anatomical features to help distinguish different species of demons, as well as field photographs of the major and interesting groups.
I bet National Geographic would publish it.
"Peterson's Guide to the Demons of North America (Western Edition)"?
Or the National Enquirer.
Too late – that was Chaps' doctoral dissertation. No, really.
Also, to address Duke's speculation, Gordon was orphaned as a child, fostered, then adopted. So plenty of real childhood trauma, no doubt. Not that that excuses anything. There are plenty of people with troubled pasts who don't grow up to be raging dickheads.
Here's the adoption info. He also dedicated one of his books to his adoptive father.
I read the excerpt…my only response is ….Holy Crap !!
Well, this is a view into the Christian mindset (of Chaps' subset, of course) that I never truly understood. The reason everybody else sucks who isn't Christian is that they couldn't possibly be good without god.
A real waste. Here's someone of real intellectual promise who writes about such total nonsense. I have to resort to Michael Shermer's "Why People Believe Weird Things". Smart people can be very good at inventing stories that rationalize whatever they want to believe.
His dissertation is a legitimate effort at synthesizing a whole body of theological and philosophical thought. How he can study so much, write so much and, yes, think so much without realizing that what he is writing about is total nonsense. It saddens me.
The joke about theology being a subject without an object just doesn't cover how truly pitiful and wasted his life is.
Isn't Regent University the Reverend Doctor Marion "Pat" Robertson's madras? That's where Chaps got his degree?
Wikipedia has Klingenschmitt graduating from the Air Force Academy with a political science degree, then to Regents for M.A.'s in business administration and divinity as well as a PhD in theology. His dissertation says that it is in fulfillment of a divinity degree – probably doesn't matter much.
I didn't associate Regents with Pat Robertson at first, but it turns out that it is indeed his institution for trading money for ignorance. However, much of the controversy about Regents centers around their law school. Graduating from Regents law school turned out to be a good way to get a job in the Bush administration.
However, I don't see how this controversy could spill over to their divinity school. How does one evaluate a divinity school anyway?
It's clear that Regents is a more accomplished school than, say, the diploma mill that Kent Hovind got his “doctorate” from. It's also clear that Klingenschmitt can do research (for a given value of research in divinity) and write in an academic setting.
What isn't clear is how any doctoral committee could entertain and sign off on a proposal to classify demons. But I guess that's theology for you.
I'm pretty sure, given the choice, that I'd cavort with his make-believe demons before I'd spend a night in a tent in the woods with Chappy. He's getting creepier by the day – something I didn't think was possible.
I wonder if Chappy has ever read Freuds' thoughts on the results of repressed emotional trauma…I'm thinking not….He wouldn't want to admit the the truth.
Speaking of repressed emotional trauma, I see Chaput is sponsoring an 'in-your-face' family conference while Francis is in Philadelphia – making sure that Francis knows just how troubled the Archbishop is over this whole 'love em and don't judge 'em' thing (also known as 'Christianity' in some circles).
"I'd cavort with his make-believe demons………." Reminds me of a Billy Joel song from the 1970s, "Only the Good Die Young," with the line, "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints; the sinners have more fun." C.H.B.
I suspect that Chaps' demons are real to him. I'm not sure the man is entirely sane.
Luckily, we won't have to live within his insanity-as-attempted-public -policy much longer.
He'll be primaried out of the Senate seat by Bob Gardner in 2016 – so we just have one more legislative session to put up with him, unless he does something even more outrageous than:
stating that Jared Polis wanted to behead people, just like ISIS.
or that Planned Parenthood was just like ISIS, or like Hitler, or both.
saying that God is punishing women for having abortions by cutting their pregnancies out,
or that gay scout leaders should be drowned,
or attempting to discern the various demons inhabiting pedophiles vs. garden-variety gay people.
Or promoting a confrontation between "Christian" biker gangs and Muslims.
Or saying that Obama's legacy will be a nuclear holocaust. Yes, he said all those things, too.
or raising money for an orphanage that he never gave to.
or allowing his 800,000 raised to fund an aggressively anti-immigrant group which pretends to patrol the borders while diverting the funds raised to enrich themselves.
Yes, he's said and done all those things, with very little accountability.
"Little Golden Guide to Demons and Devils"
Gotta start the indoctrination at a young age.
Also good for tents.
Heh!
I like Huffpost's pic choice better
Anything that goes wrong, or I don't like, I blame on the bogeymen who hide under my bed …
Chaps is more focused on what's going on in your bed than under it.