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Republican Rep. Cory Gardner is only entering his second full term in Congress, but he’s already confusing himself with some other Cory Gardner.

This week Gardner and some guy named Tim Griffin (apparently a Congressman from Arkansas) sent a letter to President Obama demanding answers in Monday’s State of the Union speech. Here’s how the press release begins:

Congressmen Cory Gardner (CO-04) and Tim Griffin (AR-02) issued the following statements after sending a letter to President Obama requesting that he be forthcoming in this State of the Union (SOTU) regarding our national debt, Medicare and Social Security:

“This President has claimed to be one of the most transparent in history, yet his healthcare overhaul was passed behind closed doors and ended up cutting $500 billion from Medicare,” Gardner said. “The American people deserve better than that. The State of the Union is President Obama’s chance to come clean and lay out an honest plan for protecting Medicare and Social Security, which is something he failed to do during his first term.”[Pols emphasis]

That’s funny! You know why it’s funny? It’s funny because Gardner was a big supporter of  the infamous “Ryan Plan” that would have gutted Medicare to the bone and slashed nearly $800 billion from Medicaid as well. It’s funny because he’s demanding that President Obama protect what Gardner himself is trying to unravel. It’s funny because “Medicare and Social Security,” has been under assault…from House Republicans like Gardner.

Or maybe that was some other Cory Gardner storming the gates of Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security in 2011.

We’d call this the height of hypocrisy, but this is so ridiculously absurd that even the word “hypocrisy” would want to distance itself from Gardner.

You go, Cory! Demand that our President protect America from Cory Gardner. Both of them. Either of them. Whatever.

KVOR talk-radio host Jeff Crank and his producer were chatting Jan. 5 about how horribly trashy CNN’s New Year’s Eve special was.

Crank was hating CNN’s Cathy Griffin, whom he called a “liberal, leftist scumbag,” and he had nothing kind to say about anchor Anderson Cooper. I don’t love them either, and it sounds like there was plenty to criticize about CNN’s silly New Year’s broadcast.

But one thing that really pissed off Crank, who lost in a vicious GOP primary to Rep. Doug Lamborn in 2008, was CNN’s first on-air kiss of 2013. Here’s what Crank had to say about it:

CRANK:  … You know what they did?  The very first thing, right at the stroke of midnight, you know, all the confetti drops, it’s, “Oh, it’s such a wonderful thing!”  And she turns around and she looks at a guy who is standing there, and I’ve got to tell you , he was a freaky-looking dude,  and she goes, “Isn’t this just wonderful? Happy New Year!” to him.  And he turns around, and his quote-unquote partner turns around, and they kiss each other!

PRODUCER: [inaudible]

CRANK:  Right there!  And [sarcastically] oh, yeah, this was just a heartwarming moment that just happened to come about.  I mean, they just try and push this stuff.  I mean, isn’t that disgusting?

PRODUCER:  That is disgusting.  But we’re in new times now.  It’s good to do that.  It’s cool to do that.  It’s okay to do that.

CRANK:  [laughing]  It’s okay, yeah, yeah, because the President thinks it’s okay.

PRODUCER:  [sarcastically] Yeah.

CRANK:  Look.  But who wants to see – I just don’t want  to see that!  And I don’t want to explain –.  You know, not that the kids are up at midnight, but they are sometimes up at midnight on New Year’s Eve.  It’s maddening, that they get away with this stuff.  And it’s this constant push to change the mores of society.  And yet, somehow we’re the ones that are the social – you know [affecting a curmudgeonly voice] “We’re always pushing our social values on everybody else!”  No.  They are the ones pushing their social values on everybody else.

I tweeted Crank, who’s also a national staffer at Americans for Prosperity, to find out if he gets as upset about heteros kissing on CNN. What, specifically, is the problem with a kiss?

And what to do about it? In Tunisia, kissing in public can allegedly land you in jail for months. Who knows what would happen to gays.