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September 19, 2011 05:30 PM UTC

"If Prop 103 Passes..." Ben "Nighthorse" Campbell Will Eat Your Brains

  • 19 Comments
  • by: Colorado Pols

Here at Colorado Pols, we always do our best to keep our loyal readers informed about important political and public policy issues. Proposition 103 is an education-funding ballot measure that Colorado voters will decide upon this fall. It would restore the sales and income tax rates that were in effect in 1999 in Colorado, raising income tax rates from 4.63% to 5%, and sales taxes from 2.9% to 3%. But that’s not all.

If Prop 103 passes, it will usher in a zombie apocalypse that will begin with the reanimation of the corpse of former Democratic Republican Sen. Ben “Nighthorse” Campbell. On November 9, 2011, Campbell will rise from the dead in a fit of miniscule tax-increment adjustment rage to feast on the brains of Colorado voters. His slow, methodical march through the towns of Colorado will turn other voters into brain-sucking zombies as well, and by the end of the 2012 school year, there will be no human children left in Colorado to take advantage of smaller class sizes or textbooks that were actually published in this century. The zombie march will continue throughout the Western United States (except in Wyoming, because there aren’t enough people in Wyoming to sustain a hungry zombie horde), ending life as we know it…and all because Prop 103 was passed.

What’s that you say? Ben “Nighthorse” Campbell is still alive? Hmmm…well, what about that “Dayhorse” guy? Is he still alive?

He is?

Oh well. Nevermind then.

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19 thoughts on ““If Prop 103 Passes…” Ben “Nighthorse” Campbell Will Eat Your Brains”

  2. I have nothing against a good zombie horde, snarkiness or satire, but would rather see a true pro/con analysis of Prop 103 than multiple parodies of the gonzo journalism that is today’s media.

    1. The back story is one of two things, either

      A) Pols is down with a CEA plan to fund this pig and therefore are pimping it daily to create the illusion this group of tax hikes is on the minds of Coloradans or

      B) Pols is pimping 1) the CEA to actively engage with a couple of million $s. 2) the folks over at the Den Post who monitor this site for stories in hopes of generating one or two. 3) desparately hoping to support those proponents of 103 that hope to use it’s success to continue the spending orgy.

      So where are the pro/cons …. you won’t see them here.

      1. Don’t agree with me.

        The back story is Pols wants to highlight the idiocy and vapidness of claims like yours about Prop 103.

        My point – this could be done in an educated way, as with most articles on this site.

        Your point – this website is in a conspiracy with the CEA and the daily newspaper to undermine democracy in the state.

        Please, don’t agree with me.

        1. ….. CEA is saving their cash after reviewing the polls on 103, considering all the local district mil levy measures, and seeing the polls on Obama’s massive tax hikes.

          But hey I’m with you car31, I’d like to see the pro/cons too. As I’ve said before I’m undecided on 103.

          So I’m interested in hearing more such as the spending priorities 103 will deliver, what return the tax payers will achieve with this critical government investment of $3 billion dollars, ….?

          1. ‘turd can’t play like he’d pay 103 any rational thought because:

            1) he’s incapable of independent thinking

            2) he’s incapable of reasoned thought

            3) it’s guaranteed that any position he’d espouse (likely one merely parroted than origninal) would squarely start & end against Prop 103

            Trolls like ‘turd are spoilers — they don’t want a sane, reasonable thread offering open discourse.  Don’t fall for his BS feigned interest.  What’s desired is any & all attention feed his vapid little GOTP-martyr ego.  

            He’s all giggly & tingly thinking that anyone would pay him some heed and actually waste time rebutting his assinine statements.  He posts crap daily knowing 2,5, or 10 folks can’t resist responding to his drivel.  What’s sadder is that he’s deluded enough to believe the crap he posts is worthy of attention.

            Faux News … rAssmussen … WND … whatever ‘turd cites deserves 0 credibility.  Guess most ColPol folks feel they must have a foil with which to practice their parry but really folks you can do better than feed the troll.

        2. What we’re lampooning here is lazy reporting that allows opponents and supporters of ballot measures or candidates to just say whatever they want — and watching it get reported as news in the guise of “quotations.” Reporters who do this will often defend themselves by saying, “I’m just reporting what so-and-so said,” but that’s a cop-out. When you repeat an important quotation without any sort of critical reporting, you’re essentially endorsing the accuracy of the quote.  And it’s not enough to just report what each side says and leave it at that; if someone says something that is known to be untrue, the media has a responsibility to either not quote that person or to directly point out that what they are saying is false.  

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